A 90-Second Stress Reset You'll Use All Season
Your nervous system deserves a seat at the table, too.
When Everything Gets Louder
Every year at this time, does your house start to sound like a cross between an airport terminal and a Trader Joe’s parking lot? People loitering, food everywhere but especially between the couch cushions, someone inevitably asking where the good scissors went… and by the way, has anyone seen the dog?
Even if you adore your family, the holiday season turns the volume up on… everything. And your nervous system, sweet sensitive thing that it is, feels all of it.
Before the crowd arrives, let’s give you a breather (literally) that will keep your stress response from getting twitchy.
The Pre-Holiday Warm-Up
The week before Thanksgiving is basically the “preheat” stage of the holiday stress oven. Not quite chaos, just warm enough that your shoulders have migrated half an inch higher without your permission. Just the anticipation of more “things” can make your system a little jumpy: more socializing, more planning, more stimulation, more decisions as to what to eat (or not)...
Instead of waiting for a meltdown (yours or someone else’s), we can build a little calm capacity: quick moments of deliberate downshifting that make your system less jumpy when the volume of life goes up.
It’s not about gritting your teeth through stress. It’s about giving your body a few short, easy reminders of what steady feels like so you can return to it faster later. Think of it as increasing your “margin of calm” before the holiday swirl begins.
Meet Your 90-Second Downshift
Your stress response is basically a well-meaning coworker who barges in with a clipboard every time life gets interesting. It wants to help. It just… tends to over help.
The way to retrain this enthusiastic colleague is by practicing tiny resets during calm pockets of your day. Not during the crisis but before it ever hits.
Enter: the 3-6 breath.
Short inhale, long exhale. Simple math. Big impact.
Here’s your go to:
Inhale for 3
Think full, smooth, through the nose, not dramatic.
Exhale for 6
This is where the magic happens. A longer exhale tells your vagus nerve, “We’re safe. Let’s not panic about pie crust.”
Breathe out through your nose, but don’t let out more air than you inhaled, or you’ll start feeling faint pretty fast. Totally not the point here.
Instead, you want to meter out the air you inhaled so it lasts long enough. Your exhale should therefore be very gentle.
Repeat for 90 seconds
Do a set of 10 breaths at a time. That’s a minute and a half which is long enough for your physiology to get the memo, but short enough to fit between oven timers. Want to go for another set of 10? Have at it. You can’t go wrong with this one.
Why? Slow breathing with extended exhales actually reduces markers of physiological stress (Frontiers in Psychology, 2018). And the best part? No props. No peace and quiet required. No “Acoustic Holiday” playlist. Just you, your breath, and 90 seconds of intention.
So between now and whenever your personal holiday circus kicks off, do this 3–6 breath during ordinary moments:
Before opening your laptop
While the coffee brews
In the car at that one hellacious traffic light
Right after waking up, before your brain starts choreographing daily logistics
It’s an easy practice that’s small, preventive, cumulative. Every time you do it lowers your baseline tension just a hair. That hair becomes… a hairball cushion for your nervous system. And that cushion is what lets you handle noise, opinions, travel, and family dynamics without getting knocked around.
It’s not about embodying unbothered perfection. It’s about building inner margins – just enough space to choose your response instead of being swept away by the moment.
Breathe First. Then Holiday.
So before the doorbell rings, the pies bake, and the WiFi starts slowing down from all the games and shows your guests are downloading, give yourself this tiny daily reset. Ninety seconds at a time. A little buffer. A little space. A breath that reminds your body that you’re still the one in charge.
The Last Word
“For fast-acting relief, try slowing down.” — Lily Tomlin
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