Breathwork for Barbecues

How to survive family, fireworks, and folding chairs without losing your cool (or your mind).

Here comes Memorial Day — the officially unofficial kickoff to summer.

Time for burgers, beverages, and that beautiful tradition of family chaos in the backyard.

You know the drill:

🍔 Overcooked burgers
👂 Screaming children
🎆 Questionable fireworks
🪑 And folding chairs that may or may not collapse under you

It’s supposed to be festive. Relaxing. A celebration of freedom and fun.

But if you’re being honest? It also feels a bit like sensory warfare.

The combo of loud voices, strong smells, flashing lights, and all those people who suddenly remember your phone number when they need another side dish for a potluck...

It can be intense.

And let’s not forget the family dynamics. Because nothing says summer like someone bringing up politics, parenting styles, or life choices over a soggy paper plate of potato salad.

Welcome to the Overstimulated Olympics

If you find yourself exhausted before the first sparkler gets lit, you’re not broken — you’re human.

Here’s why BBQs, family gatherings, and patriotic chaos can send your nervous system into overdrive:

• Noise overload: Your brain can only process so much chatter, music, and firecracker booms before it throws up a “nope” sign.

• Social fatigue: Small talk is a limited resource. Yours might be on empty by the time someone asks if you’ve “been busy lately.”

• Crowd compression: Being squished into lawn chairs between people who never mastered personal space? Yeah, your body notices

• Expectation exhaustion: You’re supposed to be cheerful, grateful, sociable, and help clean up the grill? That’s a whole lot of being “on”.

  

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Breathwork: Your Backyard Survival Tool

You can’t control the fireworks, the overly mayonaisey potato salad, or your cousin’s unsolicited conspiracy theories.

But you can control your breath.

And sometimes, that’s enough to save your nervous system — and your dignity — from meltdown.

Here are a few BBQ-approved breath tricks you can sneak in between bites and small talk.

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1. The Invisible Lengthened Exhale (a.k.a. Ninja Breath)

When you’re mid-conversation and starting to feel your insides clench:

• Keep breathing through your nose.

• Gently extend your exhale longer than your inhale — silently and subtly.

• Example: inhale for 4 counts, exhale for 6–8 counts.

• Keep your face neutral and let the longer exhale do the work of signaling safety to your nervous system.

Pro tip: No one will notice, but you might feel like you just got an internal chill pill. Works great while holding a drink or zoning out by the chip bowl.

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2. The Bathroom Sigh-Out

Need a quick escape? Or just happen to be in the bathroom already (because, same)?

• Take a slow inhale through your nose.

• Exhale with a big, exaggerated, audible sigh out the mouth.

• Let your shoulders drop. Maybe even shake them out a little.

• Repeat 3–5 times.

Bonus: You can make this sigh as loud and dramatic as you want. The bathroom is your safe zone.

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3. The Classic Hide and Breathe

If it’s all too much and you need a real step away:

• Slip out to the car, behind the house, or anywhere the folding chairs can’t follow.

• Place a hand on your belly and breathe slowly into it.

• Focus on making your exhale twice as long as your inhale.

• Stay for 1–3 minutes, letting your system recalibrate.

This is your “full reset.” No one needs to know. You can re-enter the party as your less edgy, more centered self.

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Last Gasp

You don’t have to love every moment of the “hello, summer!” party you’re attending. But you can love the way your breath helps you stay present, calm, and maybe even enjoy the ride — or at least get through it without plotting your escape route during dessert.

So this summer…

Breathe deep.
Exhale longer.
And maybe pack your own comfy chair.
Because self-care comes in many forms.

Speaking of which, I’m taking my own advice and stepping into a little pause before summer really kicks off. I’ll see you back here soon, fully exhaled with some fresh breathwork.

In the meantime, if you’d like some more quick, easy, and yet super effective breathing techniques, download your free “Five Breaths in Five Minutes” toolkit.

“The only thing I ever learned from fireworks is that if you light the wrong end, you’re in trouble.”

Anonymous